The Gentleman’s Column – How To Spot A Red

How to spot a Red: A Gentleman’s guide to recognising a Communist
We have all faced it, we gentleman, the nagging fear that attacks us as we walk down Oxford Street or are chauffeured to the Army and Navy Club. Communism. That somewhere in a dingy, smoky working men’s bar, Bolsheviks are meeting around glasses of cheap beer to plot the downfall of all that is good, gentlemanly and British.
As a public service I have decided to produce this guide on how to identify these so called “socialists”. The first clue is always the manner of dress, a typical communist will have no respect for the social conventions of morning, afternoon and evening dress. Most communists will even wear the same set of clothes all day – a cloth cap, rolled up sleeves and a poorly cut suit (apparently not many tailors are left leaning). The poorly made cigarette drooping from the lips is also a clue, the lower classes appear to be unfamiliar with the interiors of London’s better cigar emporiums. Newspapers, too, are a good indicator. A communist will never be seen with a respectable broadsheet such as the Telegraph or the Times – the Sun or the Socialist Worker tend to be their favourite choices. Now you can recognise the perfidious socialists that have infiltrated the labouring classes of Great Britain. Be on your guard and keep reading.

This is an original Hashmark Article by Tony McLarin, written in early 2006.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Hashmark Articles, Humour, Original Hashmark Articles, The Gentleman's Column

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s